If you are a parent of a child at school then you have most likely experienced the after-school meltdown.

After school meltdown’s are common because kids experience emotional, sensory, and cognitive overwhelm throughout the day.

Adjusting to the school routine, especially after a long holiday, can heighten these difficulties and meltdowns may be more frequent at the start of term.

Why do after-school meltdowns happen?

• School requires constant focus, problem-solving, social interaction, pressure and following complex instructions—all of which drain their cognitive and emotional energy.
• The sensory demands of noisy classrooms, crowded spaces, and unpredictable routines add to this load.
• At home, their ‘emotional cup’ often overflows because it’s their safe space to release big feelings. Recognising these challenges is the first step to supporting your child.

Here are our top tips for mitigating and supporting our kids through these big emotions.

Step 1: Create a Calm After-School Routine

Decompression is key! Before asking your child to unpack or tackle tasks and homework, allow time to reset and regulate.

Examples include:

🛝 Movement activities and play: Play at the park, swing on monkey bars, jump on a trampoline, climb, obstacle courses or ride bikes home.

Once they’ve had a chance to regulate, transition to:

🍎 Snack time: A familiar and nourishing snack.

🎧 Downtime: Quiet activities like reading, drawing, or listening to music.

Connection: Spend a few minutes connecting with your child. Talk with them, share a story, or engage in a simple activity together.

💡 A predictable routine with decompression first sets the tone for a smoother evening.

Avoid Asking Too Many Questions

It’s natural to want to connect with your child by asking, ‘How was school?’ But for many children, this can feel overwhelming right after a demanding day.
Instead:

🧘 Allow space for them to unwind first.

Talk about a topic of their choosing or interest

💬 When they’re ready, try gentle, open-ended questions, such as:

• ‘What made you laugh today?’
• ‘What’s something interesting you learned?’
• ‘Who did you spend time with?’

By waiting, you create a safe space for them to share when they’re emotionally ready.

Unstructured Play & Sensory Regulation

Unstructured play is a powerful tool for emotional and sensory regulation. Encourage activities that align with your child’s preferences, such as:

🏃‍♂️ Movement play: Running, climbing, dancing, or using a trampoline.

🎨 Creative play: Painting, sensory bins, Lego, or Play-Doh.

🌳 Nature play: Exploring the backyard, gardening, or a walk in the park.

🛝 Imaginative play: Dollhouse, small world play, or pretend games to process their day.

🤗 Sensory regulation: Deep pressure hugs, weighted blankets, or swinging.

Water Play: Particularly during the summer months, splashing in a tub, playing with water toys, or experimenting with water in different containers can be soothing, engaging and cooling.

Tip: Follow your child’s lead to support their unique regulation needs.

Co-Regulation & Parental Self-Care

Managing meltdowns can be emotionally tough. Co-regulation means calming yourself first so you can help your child regulate:

🫖 Pause and breathe: Take a moment to calm your body before responding.

📖 Reflect: Acknowledge the challenges of the day and what went well.

🤝 Connect with others: Talk to a friend, partner, or support group.

🌿 Take time for you: Try a short walk, mindfulness activity, or an activity that refills your cup!

Forgive: It’s okay to slip up; be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned.

Forget perfection: perfection isn’t the goal. Acknowledge that both you and your child are learning and growing through these experiences.

Reach out for Professional Support: Don’t hesitate to seek professional guidance if needed. Therapists (Mental Health OT or Psychology) can provide strategies for managing stress and emotional challenges.

Remember: You’re doing an incredible job!”

When to Reach Out 🗣️

It can be really tricky to figure out when would be helpful to seek extra input from a professional (Mental Health OT or Psychologist). These are some questions which may help guide you:

• Are the meltdowns staying longer than a few weeks, or getting more frequent / more intense? We typically expect that it does take children some time to adjust to changes, like returning to school, however, meltdowns should typically lower in frequency and intensity as your child becomes more settled.
• Are they impacting your child’s ability to do the things they usually love? Are meltdowns preventing them from being able to play their sport, do their favourite activities? Is this a big change from normal for your child?
• Have you tried all the strategies, and nothing seems to help? If you are feeling like you’ve exhausted all avenues, and things aren’t getting any easier, OT and Psychology can assist with supporting you to best support your child.
• Have you noticed other changes in your child? For example, are they also finding getting to school tricky now? Do they seem less interested in things they usually love? Are they expressing more worries?

Often, managing meltdowns can feel quite overwhelming, and reaching out for help may feel like a big step. OT and Psychology can help to ensure you and your child are best supported, and whether further help is recommended.